Something about the New Year whispers change to people’s hearts. During the Holiday Season, we hopefully have turned our thoughts to God, and that sets us up perfectly to create some meaningful goals for the New Year that will bring us closer to Him. My resolutions this year were semi-flippant: to floss daily (trying to avoid more fillings with this new dentist who forgets to numb me before drilling…for real), read the Book of Mormon daily (which I tried and failed to do last year, something about missing ONE day throws me all off…), and hitting the gym to take full advantage of our new passes (I’m out of baby weight to lose, but would like to rock a one-piece this summer which means exnay on the aretirespay). Lah dee dah, gonna get’m done.
And then I had a really bad day. And, I realized that I’ve had more “off” days lately than I’d care to admit. I spilled my guts to Dave (what else are husbands for?) about how I am a horrible person with a bad attitude. He picked me up, dusted me off, sat me down, and we discussed REAL resolutions, goals in line with true principles and fundamental changes of habit and heart. We started at the beginning “What are your priorities?” and I’m all “what ARE they, or what SHOULD they be…because I’m so off balance that those two things are very different.” “Okay, what do you WANT your priorities to be?”
Then we began at the top and started discussing what life looks like with God first. What it looks like to have Family above self and above Creativity (ahem.) How to create opportunities for Service, or take advantage of those already present.
But most of all, I am starting with putting God first. I am exercising my faith in the statement I have had resonating in my head from a young age, spoken by the Prophet of my youth, Ezra Taft Benson: “When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities (The Great Commandment, Ensign, May 1988).”
I’m not really sure what will stay and what will “drop out of [my life]” But I do know that there is peace in my heart, happiness in my home, and this inexplicable confidence that comes into my life when I put God first. When I open communication with Him through a morning prayer, and continue that conversation as I try to listen to the whispers of His spirit, He allows me to see my day in perspective of a bigger picture, making TIME spent on REAL things and relationships far more important than something otherwise engaging and time CONSUMING. “Read the Book of Mormon Daily” changes into a desire to better know and understand the Word of God and the gospel of Jesus Christ. For myself and my own faith, as well as for my children, because I am their constant teacher and example. If I don’t know, believe, and live these truths, will they?
The day after our Priority Pow Wow, I had a good day. Like, a really good day. And I realized that nothing about it was very different than the days before…except for ME. Putting God first was really a stepping stone to starting with the woman in the mirror, and making changes within myself to be more patient, more kind, and more understanding. I like that woman, I want her to stick around. There may actually be space in my life for all of the things that I do, I just have to make sure that I am doing the things that matter most first. Only then will I know where everything else should fit.
I am going to be focusing on these priorities, and rebalancing my life a bit. I love this blog, and have really enjoyed the time I spend sharing bits and pieces of my world with you, so I am not tossing it out with wild abandon. I am going to be making time for other, more important and fundamental priorities, so I would love to have you read and comment along even though my posting will probably be less frequent. Blogging is a real time commitment, and at one point I thought I might like to legitimize my time by making it a sort of side-job. But the truth is, I don’t want it to be a job. I want to just love it…whenever and whatever it may be.
So, enjoy your week! I am planning on organizing (at least a corner of) my sewing closet, visiting the zoo with the boys, editing some photos I took for a friend and trying to hang on to survival during my first spinning class, all while improving my relationship with God through meaningful communication and study. Wish me luck!